10 of the World’s Weirdest Guitars
You want to look the other way
10 of the World's Weirdest Guitars
7.20.2022 | By Mike Rock
Guitar evolution has produced some keepers and some cast-offs, but that's the way things have to be. Without experimentation, there can be no progress. Sometimes, something "different" is just what the world needs.
Sometimes... well, let's have a look at some "hits" that missed.
Every Guitar on this list is a little left of center. For some, a double-neck Guitar is a bit perplexing. It takes more than a double (or triple neck) Guitar to make a long-time player step back in disbelief, but some Guitars are so far out, that even the most jaded veteran players take a step back for a 2nd look.
Arranged in no particular order, these guitars share only one common trait: they exist.
Some of them serve a purpose, others are a solution looking for a problem. Sit back with an “adult” beverage, soft drink, or maybe a can of aerosol cheese, because this list is for the adventurous or those in need of a good laugh.
#10 Ernie Ball Music Man "Mr. Horsepower"
Ernie Ball built this incredibly special instrument just in time to commemorate the 20th anniversary of everyone’s favorite Rock & Roll spoof, “Spinal Tap.” Limited to only 25 instruments (presumably, one for Nigel Tufnell, one for David St. Hubbins, and 23 for the public). The Ernie/Ball Music Man “Mr. Horsepower” guitar shares the same body shape as the ferocious axe slinger's Albert Lee signature model. The additional visual appointments “Tap into” the madness that gave us albums like “Smell the Glove”, “Break Like the Wind”, and the live masterpiece, “Silent but Deadly”.
The Spinal Tap Commemorative guitar features a Traditional Hot Rod Flame finish, Iconic Cigar chomping “Mr. Horsepower” logo, and guitar-chromed-out headers and pipes. A working tachometer responds to how hard the strings played, and licensed Floyd Rose locking tremolo sports a hotrod gear shifter arm, complete with pool ball shift grip. The fingerboard is inlaid with upside-down letters that work as a cheat sheet-just in case you forget what note each string is tuned to.
If the traditional but crowded three humbucker extravagance isn’t Rock and Roll enough for ya, the design team at Ernie Ball managed to squeeze in four full-sized humbuckers across the top of the guitar- a first (and last) as far as I know. What else would you expect from a band that plays amps up to 11?
Everyone knows Spinal Tap’s greatest hits- "Gimme Some Money" "Tonight I'm Gonna Rock You Tonight" and “Sex Farm”, are still funny, after all these years.
What some people don’t know about “Spinal Tap”, is how close it really is to real Rock Star touring life. Director Rob Reiner, along with actors Christopher Guest and Harry Shearer spent a few weeks on the road with Ted Nugent, Aerosmith, and other hard Rocking bands, for a bird’s eye view of life on the road. Some of the gags in the mockumentary, like getting lost in the hallways that lead to the stage, are loosely based on fact.
Derek St. Holmes (lead singer on Nugent’s classics "Stranglehold", "Hey Baby", "Just What The Doctor Ordered", and more) served as inspiration and a partial namesake for Spinal Tap characters Derek Smalls and David St. Hubbins. St. Holmes takes it all in stride and loves the association with the fictional “aluminum foil-covered pickle” wearing Rockers. At 69 years old, St. Holmes is still in top form and refuses to take himself too seriously. Holmes says he doesn’t mind having a little fun poked at him by Meathead, Chuck McGill, or Mr. Burns. Derek St. Holmes says the funniest part about Spinal Tap, is the fact that many of his contemporary Rockers get the joke- And that to me is as funny as Rock and Roll gets… well, styrofoam boulders are pretty funny too.
#9 Devo "Whip it" (Bob Mothersbaugh's) Modified Gibson Les Paul Custom
Bob could complete a “top-ten” list of odd-ball guitars, without needing to look outside his own personal collection of one-off customs and whacky homemade modifications.
Devo was certainly ahead of the times. The band owes at least some of its success to being ahead of the curve at making music Videos, just in time for the 24-hour music video channel, MTV. Aside from robotic movements, matching coveralls, trippy face distorting masks, and flowerpot hats, Devo is a guitar-driven band, with a sound that was a huge departure from most ’70s Rock acts.
Early Devo concerts and music videos feature Bob playing a rare, Ohio-made La Baye 2X4 guitar that pre-dates the Steinberger by well over a decade. Bob loved any guitar with an unconventional look, avoiding the classics like the plague. Soon after Devo’s first big hits, Bob tasked Ibanez to build a custom-made guitar, shaped like a potato. Unfortunately, something was lost in translation. Bob’s “Spud Guitar” came out looking more like a blue Cloud, than a potato.
Devo experimented with everything from the accordion to the synth, and early electric Drums. When Bob heard about a company that made Synth-controlling pickups for the Guitar, Bob wanted the first model he could get his hands on. As excited as he was, Bob had a bitter pill to swallow, if he wanted a synth guitar. The only guitar compatible with the synthesizer system was a Gibson Les Paul.
Bob Mothersbaugh simply didn’t want any part of a guitar that spent the last decade playing arena Rock, strapped to Guitar Players dressed up as wizards, or in cowboy hats and Frye Boots. Devo was more of a bright red plastic flowerpot hat band.
Bob was so distressed, that he took the cutaway off his wine red Les Paul Custom, and glued it back on.... backward. It gave the Les Paul a decidedly bizarre silhouette- once seen, it can never be “unseen.” The ironic part is that Bob Mothersbaugh loves the sound and feel of a Gibson Les Paul. Although Bob did eventually get his Spud Guitar, just the way he wanted it, these days Bob is seldom seen without his Gibson Custom Shop Les Paul R9. It’s funny how things change. Back in the ’80s, Devo was simply “Through being Cool.”
#8 The Bo Diddley Special w/Bootleg Buster
Bo Diddley is unquestionably among the Kings of Rock and Roll, right alongside legends like Chuck Berry and Little Richard. Every minute, of every day, someone, somewhere is playing the “Bo Diddley” beat.
Despite his fame, Bo Diddley did whatever he could to set himself apart from the pack. As you can see from this picture, Bo didn’t shy away from fancy clothing, hats, jewelry, or his impossible to mistake guitar.
(I took this picture myself with a little 110-film camera, that I had wedged under the handle of my amp. Playing with one of my heroes was a rare treat, so hell yes, I took pictures.)
I instantly recognized Bo’s trademark rectangle guitar but didn’t know much about it. The '80s were a backward and barbaric time. We didn’t have cell phones with cameras or endless info about guitars on YouTube. I figured Bo had one or two…maybe three of his infamous rectangular guitars. Needless to say, I was floored when I saw Bo’s Guitar locker for the first time. He traveled with about 10 of these rectangle beasts. Each one was unique in some way. It was instantly clear that Bo’s “rectangle specials” were far more than a showbiz gimmick. He loved them a lot, and he loved to talk about them.
One spelled out BO DIDDLEY in LEDs across the top. A switch turned the lights on and off, and a dimmer dial made it blink fast or slow. He smiled as he showed me how the knob worked so smoothly. His name flashed so fast and bright, it nearly gave me a seizure, but I didn’t care- talking shop with Bo Diddley? Yes Please!
Which guitar are you playing for today’s matinée?
Bo: Oh! My new “Bo Diddley anti-bootlegging guitar”. (Bo Diddley referred to himself as “Bo Diddley” a lot.)
Really? What’s that?
Listen! (plugs in his guitar).
What am I listening for, Bo?
My anti-bootlegging device!!!! You better listen close, kid!!
I finally gave up: Yea Bo, I hear it.
No, man, no, no, no you don’t!!! You CAN’T hear it man- that’s the point!! The people in the audience can’t hear it, not even I can hear it. The only people who will hear it, are the guys trying to record my show. They will hear it real-loud. When I turn up this knob (points to one of the 8 dials on his guitar) it will leave a big ole hiss on any tape recorder out there. Ha-Ha! How ‘bout that?
To this day, I don’t know if Bo was having a goof on me about his anti-bootleg knob. For all I know, it was a high pass filter.
Maybe the tech who installed the “Anti-bootleg” knob, had a goof on Bo. Who Knows? If I had to guess, my money is on Bo. After all, Bo is one of the first and best rockers ever to stomp Earth.
#7 Rickenbacker 331 "Lightshow"
Rickenbacker Guitars and Basses cover lots of sonic territories. Right out of the gate, Rickenbacker found a home powering the first wave of British Invasion bands, while simultaneously echoing out of California with the growing Folk-Rock sound. The Rickenbacker sound became classic, even before the complete range of Rickenbacker’s sonic possibilities could be fully explored.
Paul McCartney, Chris Squire, and Lemmy Killmister sound like they are from different planets, but all have relied on the Rickenbacker bass to lay down the low end. Rickenbacker’s guitar clientele is just as diverse, touting Roger McGuinn, Pete Townshend, and Peter Buck as devotees. “The Pretenders” James Honeyman-Scott used the same Rickenbacker 360/12 as Carl Wilson of the Beach Boy’s (not just the same model- but the exact same guitar passed through both players' lives).
Rickenbacker covers almost as much visual territory as sonic diversity-and in all the right ways. Bi-level pickguards, Cats-Eye F-holes, Saw Tooth Inlay, and Checkerboard bindings are modern, but not futuristic. Cresting-wave body silhouettes are fashionable but not trendy.
Rickenbacker’s 6/12 staggered tuners are as groundbreaking as the stereo “Rick o Sound” inputs, and 5th control knob preset/blender dial. Rickenbacker pioneered the 5, 6, and 8 string bass, at a time when many of the big names in the electric guitar world, hadn’t yet added a bass Guitar to their catalog. The model 366-12 string “convertible” allowed the player to use all 12 strings or mute up to 6 of them. The 366/12 is a standout, simply because it is one of the few Ricky’s that did not become an instant classic. It’s safe to say the impossibly cool, imaginatively designed “Psychedelic” model 331-LS “Lightshow” also falls under the header of “not so instant” classic.
The ”Light Show” is one of Rickenbacker’s very few (or only) “trendy” models. The 331 Light show arrived during the psychedelic era, rather than helping to start it.
The Rickenbacker model 330 and 331-LS are separated by miles presentation-wise, but otherwise, are nearly identical. The semi-hollow inside of the 330 is fitted with Red, Blue, Yellow (or Green) bulbs, and a frequency crossover circuit. The top of the guitar has two translucent swirling panels, instead of a Cats-Eye f-hole cut into an otherwise solid wood top. The crossover (with help from an outboard transformer) allows the low strings to activate the blue bulbs. Midrange frequencies light up the yellow or green bulbs, and red is activated by the highs. It’s a very well-designed system, with stunning looks that assure a statement and memorable experience. Unfortunately, the statement the light show made was a bit too loud for most consumers. After a 5-year run (1970-1975) and very few orders, the light show was turned off for good, after only about 100 examples were made. Stores on NYC’s 48th Steet were selling leftovers for just about anything someone would offer, by 1978. Today, an original condition Ricky 300LS will set you back about $19,950 more than a 1978 closeout price.
If you missed your chance back in the ’70s, all is not lost. Paul Wilczynski of Studio California can add the psychedelic light show experience to your existing Rickenbacker 330 or fix your original 70’s classic.
#6 Fender Wildwood Coronado
There is no question Leo Fender had no fear when it came to trying innovative ideas and testing the limits of what the musical world was ready for. Leo pushed the envelope with every solid-body Guitar and Bass design developed during his ownership. The really bizarre stuff came along in the years just after the fearless inventor sold his company to CBS, in 1965. 1966 was a brave new world at Fender. Lots of new models were considered, including the Marauder, (with its four ‘invisible’ pickups hidden away under the pickguard) and The Arrow (a stew of leftover parts, mounted to a body that’s had one too many trips to the bandsaw). Of all the “off the beaten path” models that Fender considered following Leo’s departure, the Coronado “Wildwood” gets my vote for most bizarre, among stiff competition.
The Coronado is not without its charm, enjoying a cult following of collectors and Players. Long, slender F-holes with binding complement the bound rosewood ‘board, with block style fret markers (like the new for 66 Jazz master and Jaguar). The Coronado was offered in lots of color options. Normally, Antiqua burst would be considered the most adventurous choice, but not when Fender's new “Wildwood” colors have arrived.
Wildwood is simply Beechwood, that’s specially treated with colored dye while still growing. Blue, Gold, Purple, Brown, and Green dye injected into growing Beechwood trees before harvesting stains the wood from inside, alongside water and nutrients as the tree grows. The end result is a naturally stained vernier, with a very unnatural look.
Fender’s 60’s Coronado guitars were available in several “Wildwood” finish colors aside from the already ample list of “standard” colors. I read about the Wildwood Coronado years before I ever had the chance to see one. What could possibly be cooler? A guitar with Purple, Gold, or Green dye injected right into the growing grain? Wow, wow, and wow!!!! By the time I was old enough to make the trip to midtown Manhattan by myself, I was disappointed to discover the Wildwood Coronado had long ago been discontinued. I looked inside every store on 48th street every time I made a visit. One day I actually found a store that had a used one. “You have Wildwood Coronado!? Really? Is it Gold? Blue? Dare I hope for Purple?
Purple huh? Nah kid, they all kinda look like an anemic green or brown…or greenish-brown. Purple-A ha-ha.
What??? Needless to say, I’d built them up in my mind’s eye to be something far more amazing than the trippy Formica tabletop they actually look like. Cool idea, but a big disappointment (for me anyway). Fender more than made up for my disappointment some years later when the 1983 “Bowling Ball” finished Strat and Tele’s came out. 40 years later I still have one, and never lamented over the hideous wildwood colors ever again.
#5 The Coral Electric Sitar
Danelectro guitars earned a special place in the hearts of anyone who grew up playing one. Although Danelectro guitars are made from notoriously cheap materials (Masonite sheets instead of wood, and surplus lipstick cases for pickup covers), somehow it all worked. Danelectro guitars were affordable, easy to play, and packed in tons of vibes. Models like the LongHorn Guitar (and Bass), Baritone guitar, Bellzouki (Vincent Bell’s electric Bouzouki), and “Amp in Case” Guitars for Sears are all fantastic designs, that are still in demand today. Some are quirky, with a unique sound, others are just plain cool. Not every Danelectro guitar qualifies as out of this word. In fact, the Vincent Bell Coral Electric Sitar might be from another dimension.
It's no secret that Indian classical music (the Sitar in particular) was beginning to play a significant role in late 60s psychedelic music. By the end of the ’60s, the sound of an Electric Sitar might pop up in any kind of music. Learning to play the Sitar is not easy. It wasn’t even easy to find a Sitar, (much less a Sitar teacher) this side of India. The Danelectro Coral Electric Sitar made it possible for anyone who can play the electric guitar, to add the exotic Sitar-like sound to their music, without a trip to India, or a personal friendship with Ravi Shanker.
One of the first Coral Electric Sitars of the line was sent to George Harrison, as a gift. Somehow, it became “lost” on the way. Ironically, the man who singlehandedly introduced the Sitar sound to Rock Guitar players, and western ears never received his own personal Coral Electric Sitar- An instrument that probably would have never existed without his influence.
The exotic-looking instrument has a course of sympathetic strings arranged like a harp, over a cracked texture finish of Bombay Red, which helped the electric Sitar look authentic (if you’ve never seen a real Sitar before). In 1967, most people outside India couldn’t tell the difference between a Sitar, and a broken tennis racquet with a Peace sign painted on it.
The most critical part of the Electric Sitar’s sound comes from its elongated ebony bridge, laid out in front of the saddles. The smooth, solid surface interrupts the vibrating strings just enough to generate the musically pleasing buzz the Sitar is famous for. The Coral Electric Sitars harp style layout of sympathetic strings is more confusing than effective.
Even if you discovered the proper way to tune the harp strings (and didn’t lose the special tool), nobody would know any difference. On the plus side, they don’t get in the way and look impossibly cool. Aside from the ebony Sitar-style bridge, the Coral Electric Sitar’s extra features are little more than bogus window dressing, with colossal curb appeal.
The attention-grabbing Guitar/Sitar went into production in 1968, ending in 1970. The Danelectro/Bell Coral Sitar was not a runaway hit, but the quirky sound it delivers is impossible to mistake. You can hear the Coral Sitar on a diverse list of hits through the years. Steely Dan’s, Do it Again, Harry Chapin’s Cats in the Cradle, Metallica’s Wherever I May Roam, and of course who can forget Spinal Tap’s, Listen to the Flower People, live from the Isle of Lucy festival.
#4 The Q Guitar played by Fee Waybill/"Quay Lewd" of The Tubes
Back in the dark ages of 1975, “Alternative” bands had fiercely loyal fans, just like they do today. The most significant difference? Alternative bands of the 70’s seldom got a chance to do anything outside their own Zip code, aside from The Velvet Underground, MC 5, Iggy Pop, or The NY Dolls.
The Tubes had a lot to offer in an age when even the term “Alternative Rock” drew blank stares from most. The highly theatrical, hilarious group of top-shelf musicians survived long enough to become a gigantic hit-making machine, perfect for the age of MTV. The Tubes' outrageous stage shows featured a cast of comedians, dancers, stuntmen, and madness. Topping it all off was Tubes Frontman Fee Waybill’s transformation into “Glam/Rock Sensation” alter ego “Quay Lewd”.
Quay wore a silver unitard, oversized platform boots, an enormous curly blonde wig, and enough max factor to make Cher, Dolly Parton, and Dee Schneider jealous. In fact, Dee Schneider and Quay Lewd could pass for twins. To tell you the truth, I’m not sure who came first.
Of course, Quay had a theme song and his own Custom Guitar that made our list of Oddball Guitars. The “Q” guitar is like no Electric Guitar that ever came before, or after (for good reason).
The Q guitar makes the audience 100% sure, the 7-foot megalomanic on stage is none other than the Glam Rock wild man, Quay Lewd singing about “White Punks on Dope”. Rumor has it that the original Q guitar was actually shaped like a giant “O”, with a body part exposed to completing the Q shape (use your imagination), but the truth has never been confirmed. It’s very possible Dee Schneider started this scandalous rumor. Gibson’s Flying V is absolutely the first, and king of the “Alphabet” guitars, but the Q takes the cake for most freaky.
#3 Vintage 1960's Classic No Name "String breaker special"
One night in 1964, the Beatles appeared on the Ed Sullivan show for the first time. The next day, any shopkeeper who sold electric guitars, had one hell of a day at the register. Over the next few years, the demand for electric guitars grew at a rate that nobody thought possible. It seems the Electric Guitar is more than just a passing fad, after all.
Guitar sales exploded to the point that popular manufacturers fell behind for 6 months or longer, trying to fulfill orders. New Guitar manufacturers popped up overnight to capitalize on all that money, waiting to be spent on a new Guitar. Some new Guitar builders made exceptionally good beginner instruments during this period. Others made what’s known today as a “GSO” (Guitar shaped object). It didn’t matter. If it had strings, a customer was waiting. Many manufacturers turned out surprisingly good guitars, despite having no history of building electric guitars before the “boom”. A lot of manufacturers that got their start filling shelves with budget-priced guitars in the 60s, became sales leaders by the 70s and world-respected brand names soon after.
Some manufacturers made garbage with strings.
Though it’s not foolproof, one way to make an educated guess concerning the quality of the guitar you are buying is the Brand name. Some Brands are a safe bet, producing instruments of high, consistent quality. Some brands have an excellent reputation, though not every model is a winner. A guitar with NO NAME at all on the headstock should serve as an early warning.
This particular example spent many hours on the bench, getting rebuilt. When it left the factory, the strings didn’t line up with the neck so well. The High E string was nearly a quarter-inch south of the fingerboard, where the neck meets the body. The Action (playability) was also nightmarish. Trying to fret a single note took fingers with the strength of a hydraulic press. A shim the size of a door stopper, and a drill press eventually helped reset the neck into a playable position. With the neck issues sorted out, you simply got accustomed to having pickups with 1/4th the output of a normal electric guitar.
Hell, after all that work, the quirky thing almost looks cool (unless you touch, or even look at the trem bar). A big ole spring (about an inch tall, and a half-inch wide) provided the Trem bar’s counterbalance. If you push the trem bar down with too much force, the spring pops out on the way back up. Don’t worry, though-the spring goes back in easily….once you’ve found where it landed. The spring pops out if you pull the trem bar up too much, also. Send a bandmate to look for the spring. You will be too busy looking for the ball ends that shot across the room like a rocket. You won’t need them after you’ve broken all your stings, but you’ll want to find all 6 of them. If they clog the vacuum again, you’ll be in big trouble (again).
#2 Gibson "The Firebird X"
Like Rickenbacker and Fender, Gibson graced the world with some of the most well-loved electric guitars. Any company with so many victories is bound to have the occasional fumble. Hell, even “Babe” Ruth struck out from time to time. The Firebird X (or 10) maybe Gibson’s most notable oddity, yet under all the unwanted gadgetry, the X is not a bad guitar. So…what makes the Firebird X such a notoriously wacky and unpopular Guitar?
The Firebird X was the perfect solution to problems that nobody had.
Self-tuning guitar tech was no longer a novelty. In fact, most people were no longer interested in owning a guitar with Robotic tuners. If something went wrong, the guitar is nearly impossible to tune manually, unless you started a week before curtain time. The on-board controls (and nine-piece outboard rig) are so complicated to use, an associate degree in electronics is recommended just to get plugged in.
The Gibson Firebird X was unveiled in midtown Manhattan to a who’s who of Music retailers, the Press, and Ace Frehley. Multiple technical issues plagued the infamous presentation, including an aborted attempt to “smash” a junky old guitar. Henry took several swings with no effect, apart from running himself out of breath, and turning his face beet red. Soon enough, Henry began raving about re-issue-loving “Troglodytes”. Some people were actually offended as soon as they were able to look up the word. Troglodyte indeed.
The symbolic act of destroying the old, to make way for the new was a complete disaster, and a peek at the Future of the Firebird X, and Henry Juszkiewicz (Gibson’s ex-C.E.O).
Say what you will about Gibson’s EX-C.E.O, but at least give Henry some credit. He tried like the devil to give the world the next must-have, history-making, Gibson design. Great solutions are born of great needs. Great solutions don’t create great needs, Henry. That sounds like Troglodyte thinking. Duh.
After some Q&A with the audience, and a few words from Ace Frehley, things got back to normal. Even the natural color even returned to Henry's face, when someone in the crowd (I swear it wasn’t me) finally asked, “How much will the X sell for”?
A hush fell over the crowd.
When no answer was forthcoming, eyes started to roll, and eyebrows raised. It was time to file out the door and collect a complimentary “I joined the revolution” Firebird X Tee shirt.
As already stated, the Firebird X is not a bad guitar at all, once you get past the multiple sliders, spinning toggles, blinking pots, whirring tuners, and spacey finish. The problem is that nobody wants a guitar that’s permanently intertwined with an onboard multi-effects pedal and Robot tuners.
Rumors bounced around that Gibson had hundreds of unsold Firebird X guitars crowding the shelves at the Nashville factory. Gibson’s new leaders confirmed the rumors were true. What’s that they say? Oh yea. A picture is worth a thousand words. Here ya go!
Electronic tech marches at an amazingly fast clip-The Firebird X became outdated by its first birthday. As ambitious as the Firebird X was, external tech never seems to belong inside a Guitar. Imagine a 1963 Strat with a built-in Reverb tank? Better yet- imagine a Guitar with a built-in Organ!
#1 The B-300 Guitorgan
The Guitorgan gets an A for strange, an A+ in unreliable, and the number 1 spot on our list of oddball Guitars. The useless beast of an instrument also scores high marks in the “too heavy to play standing up” department. Someone (actually, more than one) designer figured that the Electric Guitar and Organ go together quite well. The fact is, they do make a great match. Hits like "House of the Rising Sun", "Little Runaway", "Whiter Shade of Pale", "96 Tears" and "Evil Ways" ought to be proof enough.
The problem is….there was no problem.
Why build an organ into a guitar, when you can hire an organ player, or just buy an organ? Because Guitorgan, that’s why. C’mon guys, this can be a massive trend! Let’s take all the best elements of the electric guitar, and the portable organ, and replace them with the shortcomings of each? Nobody will notice. Not with a name as cool as “Guitorgan”! Plus, we can make it irresistible by putting a million controls on it!
One of the first attempts at the Organ/Guitar Hybrid (again, why?) is the Musiconics B300 (not to be confused with Mu-Tron, makes of the Bi-Phase and other cool effects pedals). Start with A Hammond-style organ circuit, stuffed into a thin line semi-hollow body Guitar. Each fret is connected to the Organ module with 6 individual sensors on each fret surface.
The B300 can be used in standard electric guitar mode (as soon as the Organ circuit malfunctions) with a flip of one of the 20-something switches. The barbaric 6 section frets could probably cut your fingertips if you can play the 13-pound monster long enough to rip your calluses off.
The good news? The B300 Guitorgan comes with a volume pedal that fits inside the case. The combined weight of the case, Guitar, and pedal act as a reminder, to leave the thing at home and hire an Organ player. The B300 makes an excellent conversation starter or emergency door barricade. Warning…. Not for use as a flotation device.